Pretentious Internet Theatre

P.I.T - The S.O.P.A. Approved Episode.

2012-01-17T18:19:00.000-08:00

Tonight, Andrew Cooke brings you a elite tested, and S.O.P.A. approved, episode of Pretentious Internet Theatre.

He explains how his lawyers have sanitized and edited all the content that may be harmful for pirates, but how S.O.P.A. doesn't apply to him.

P.I.T. 47: Don't Mess With Gabe - Ocean Marketing Saga

2012-01-17T18:18:00.000-08:00

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Since episode one the motto of this program has been, "There is much drama on the Internet, but only the best make Pretentious Internet Theatre." That rings true with tonight's episode, as tonight Andrew Cooke performs a dramatic reading of The Ocean Marketing Saga. It may not be our usual fanfiction fare, but it is a dramabomb of nuclear proportions.

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com You can subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes. You can also like this show on facebook, and follow us on twitter.

P.I.T. 46: Autumn Adieu - Selling Your Soul to Santa

2012-01-17T18:16:00.000-08:00

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Tonight, is the end of the Fall of P.I.T.. However, you better not pout or cry because Santa Claus is coming to town.

Yes, in tonight's story Andrew Cooke reads a tale about Jolly Ol' Saint Nick called Selling Your Soul to Santa by I Lost My Buh-Lance. Before that he demonstrates good will toward all.

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com You can subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes. You can also like this show on facebook, and follow us on twitter, and +1 this program on google+.

Episode 45: Mai, Mai, Mai - A Nondenominational Mai Hime Holiday Special

2012-01-17T18:14:00.000-08:00

Tonight, Andrew Cooke brings you a tale that put Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Hanukkah in a neat package with a bow under the tree.

A Nondenominational Mai Hime Holiday Special by Chapellefan is our tale this evening.

Wait, Andrew Cooke isn't done yet, he has a special holiday message about the way Christmas used to be.

Music: Excerpts from Nutcracker by Tchaikovsky

P.I.T. 44: Why Are There So Many Fanfics About Vampires - Chez Melissa

2011-11-28T10:00:00.000-08:00

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The Fall of P.I.T. continues...

With two cinematic powerhouses in American theaters, "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" and "The Muppets", Andrew Cooke brings you a story that promises to combine them both.
It should be noted that the author has heard this ahead of time, and the correct pronunciation of the name 'phina is actually *FEE-na*, not *FOOF-na*, as pronounced throughout the episode.

Tonight's selection is: Chez Melissa by 'phfina.

Musical accompaniment is "Clarinet Quintet, Opus 115" by Brahms.

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com You can subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes. You can also like this show on facebook, and follow us on twitter, and +1 this program on google+.

P.I.T. 43 - and in the Darkness Bind Them - WalMart Blues

2011-11-15T12:07:00.000-08:00

On November 15, 1978 The Lord of The Rings animated film was released in theaters.

Thirty-three years later, admittedly by coincidence, Andrew Cooke chose to read WalMart Blues by Rei Lerdia Swiftwood.

Also we announce that you can +1 this program on google+.

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com You can not only subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes, You can also like this show on facebook, and follow us on twitter.

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P.I.T. 42: Trick or Tweet - Halloween Stories

2011-10-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

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Tonight, Andrew Cooke brings you two Halloween tales from the P.I.T.

He also announces a contest for you email, enter and win.

Tonight's selections:

Halloween Frog Style Dororo and the Haunted House by Dragonsfire18

Goku Against Freddy by Bill Sayers

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com You can not only subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes, You can also be one of our minions on facebook, and stalk us on twitter.

P.I.T 41 - Good Night Emo - Nights of Terrors Even Though it's Day Time

2011-10-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

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Tonight, Andrew Cooke continues the Fall of P.I.T with a Final Fantasy tale.

It's pretty creepy for so close to Halloween.

Tonight's selection: Nights of Terrors Even Though It's Day Time by Xover-girl

Music: Rachmaninoff - Op. 42

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com You can not only subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes.

You can also like this show on facebook, and follow us on twitter.

Episode 40: Some Call it Dap - Adventure Time Fanfics

2011-10-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

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Tonight, Andrew Cooke continues the Fall of P.I.T with two stories inspired by Adventure Time. Fist-bump your best bud and bring them to the show. You won't want to miss a minute.

Selections:
Adventure TimeFionna and Cake What was Missing
Mini Story Time

Music:

Fantasia in F minor for piano, for hands, op.103 by Schubert

Blue Danube by Strauss

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com You can not only subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes, You can also like this show on facebook, and follow us on twitter.

Episode 39: No Crisis Here - Sesame Street Super Special

2011-10-01T16:40:00.000-07:00

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The Fall of P.I.T continues with one of the most heroic muppets of all time.
This week, Andrew Cooke makes note of the recent changes to the DC Universe and tries to piggyback by reading a fanfiction about Super Grover.

Story: The Sesame Street Super Special
Music: The Symphony No. 8 in G major by Dvorak

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com You can not only subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes, You can also like this show on facebook, and follow us on twitter.

P.I.T 38 - The Fall of P.I.T. - The Death of David Kintobar

2011-09-23T00:56:00.000-07:00

The autumn of your discontent is here with The Fall of P.I.T.

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This episode Andrew Cook explains what that means, while providing on update on the CrapFic Theater challenge and reading fine literature.

Story- The Death of David Kintobar, by Jesse Jeans
Music: Mozart’s Divertimento in E-flat major 2nd Movement

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You can not only subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes,
Like this show on facebook, and follow us on twitter.

P.I.T 37- A Fragment Out of Time

2011-09-05T06:41:00.000-07:00

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Last time on P.I.T. Andrew Cook referenced another podcast called Crap Fic Theater.

Pamachu responds, and we get a fanfiction asked about in Episode 3 of this program.

Story- A Fragment Out of Time, by Diane Merchant
Music: Chopin - Nocturne in B flat minor Op.9 No.1

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Episode 36: And Justice for All

2011-08-30T14:19:00.000-07:00

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Inspired by the Case against Casey Anthony, tonight Andrew Cook we have a few tales about Phoenix Wright. Mr. Cook brings us a couple of bonus stories, and talks about a certain podcast.

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com
You can not only subscribe to this show on iTunes, and check out our other great episodes,
You can also like this show on facebook, and follow us on twitter.

Tonight's selections are:

Phoenix Wright and the Horrible Day in Court by Nekojessica
Winner Takes All by Lauren Order

Musical selections:

Domenico Scarlatti - Opera K365 - Carnevale
Stravinsky - Firebird Suite
Brahms - Op.35, Paganini Variations Book 1

Episode 35: Live from AFO 12

2011-08-13T21:52:00.000-07:00

Recorded at a live panel at Anime Festival Orlando 12 was Episode 35 of Pretentious Internet Theatre. Andrew Cook was join by his elite listeners, and a good time was had by all.

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As always, you can email at thepitpodcast@gmail.com

Tonight's Selections were:

The Second Sorrow by FalgarnTheMagnificent
First Day on an FLCL Foot by Cazertanu
Halo Emblem A New Crisis by FalgarnTheMagnificent
Unforgivable Crime by FalgarnTheMagnificent
Sweet Dream by FalgarnTheMagnificent
Revenge of GUILT by FalgarnTheMagnificent
The Greatest Duel Ever by FalgarnTheMagnificent
Luke Fights Van but he Loses by FalgarnTheMagnificent
Supermarket Showdown by FalgarnTheMagnificent
Someone to Love by FalgarnTheMagnificent
A Tale of Mystery and Danger by FalgarnTheMagnificent
Gheb en Enpanol by FalgarnTheMagnificent

Special Thanks to Lillian, Alex, Cullen, Jose, Jeff, Jeremiah, Casey and Annabell for reading tonight's selections.

Episode 34 : You Are Already Listening

2011-07-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight a short program in wish we honor Toyoo Ashida, albeit with fanfiction. Also, Andrew Cook announces his upcoming panel at AFO 12.

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Tonight's stories include:

Fist of the Unlucky Star by Talos Angel
and Vampire Hunter D? by Lucinda

P.I.T. Tea Party Episodes 2+3

2011-07-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

P.I.T Tea Party - Episode 2: Death Curse and Taxes
Greetings,

Tonight Andrew Cook sits down for conversation and tea with a sage of wisdom. We discuss taxes, the government, fanfiction, and literature.

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P.I.T Tea Party - Episode 3: D

Tonight we discuss the future of entertainment, jobs in a Utopian society, taxes, and anime. Speaking of anime, Pretentious Internet Theatre will be at AFO this August.

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P.I.T. Tea Party - Episode 1

2011-04-07T09:23:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Tonight, Andrew Cook sits down for conversation and tea with a sage of wisdom. Did you know Area 51 is actually located at a museum in Dayton, Ohio? We learn that and more from one man's perspective.

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P.I.T. 33: Live from Megacon 2011

2011-03-31T13:35:00.000-07:00

As promised, here is the live episode that was recorded last Friday at Megacon 2011. We had a few readers share readings with us. Namely stuff from Squirrellking and Peter Chimaera. We also hosted an impromptu Q&A session, which was a convention exclusive.
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Tonight's selections are:
FFVII Story of Rain Strife by Squirrellking
Resident Deadly by Peter Chimaera (read by Mr. Slippery)
Halos in Space by Squirrellking-( read by JP)
The Simpsons Dinner by Peter Chimaera (read by Dick Steele)
Gundam Wing Final Battle by Peter Chimaera
The Matrix Return by Peter Chimaera (read by Kirk)
Metal Gear Solid Fight of Metal Gears by Squirrellking
DIGIMON SAVEZ THE WROLD 1111 by Peter Chimaera (read by Alex)
Castlevania: Wisps of Dracula by Peter Chimaera (Read by Dan)
Desert Bus Ride 1: A Romance Story and For Ladies by Peter Chimaera (Read by chell)
Half Life Hero Beggining by Squirrellking

P.I.T. 32: Computer Lab Apocolypse

2011-03-31T13:30:00.000-07:00

On the eve of the live episode (held at Megacon in the Orange County Convention Center, Hall D Room 224D) Andrew Cook takes you to the future by way of the past. Witness the six part slice of life from those that risk life and limb to help college students with their computer problems.

No need to thank them, not that anyone does.

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P.I.T. 31 - Metal Rabbit : Chinese New Year Stories (自命不凡互联网剧院)

2011-02-02T09:05:00.000-08:00

With a lot of listeners coming in from China, what better time to do a second Chinese New Year episode?
Andrew Cook also announces P.I.T. 's 3rd live panel, which will be happening at Megacon 2011.
Fire up some Kung Pao Chicken, and get ready for a quintet of fanfiction about Chinese New Year.
Our stories are:
Sweet & Sour by rainwaltz
Rich on Chinese New Year by Aznprid3x3
Trix are for Rabbits Too by Goldenstargirl
Weakened by Squirrel holding a bazooka
Year of the Tiger by Iaveina

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Music:
Mozart Quintet for Clarinet and String Quartet
Mozart's Symphony no 40 - 1st movement
Rachmaninov-Romance-Six Hands on Piano
Beethoven Moonlight Sonata
Nocturne in C minor Op.48 no.1

2010-12-23T22:18:00.000-08:00

Rushing for that perfect gift?

Why not introduce your friends to this show? It's a priceless gift, really.

In fact, this second part of our Christmas episode has helpful tips, like how to win the heart of your lover, and how to make eggnog

Our story is Chapters 5-9 of A Teen Titans Christmas by JeetJeet

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P.I.T. 29: The Christmas Episode, Part 1, A Teen Titans Christmas

2010-12-23T22:04:00.000-08:00

Feeling a bit bah-humbugged?

Worry no more. Just in time for Christmas, is our Christmas Episode. It's so big it had to be done in two parts.

In this Episode Andrew Cook reads and sings, as only he can.

Our story is A Teen Titans Christmas by JeetJeet

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P.I.T. Episode 28 : Tricks and Treats

2010-10-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

This episode, Andrew Cook answers the letters or those trick or treaters that sent emails. He also offers four spooky stories guaranteed to make your mind fry, which would be good for the zombies.

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Tonight's stories are:

Intro: Halloween 3

Music:

Jehan Alain - Litanies
Prokofiev - Romeo and Juliet, No 13 Dance of the Knights
Liszt - Mephisto Waltz
Tartini - Sonata in G Minor - Devil's Trill
Béla Bartók- String Quartet No. 4:4. Allegretto pizzicato

P.I.T. Video Log Episode I: Spirited Beasts

2010-10-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

P.I.T #27: Scott Pilgrim vs The Fanfiction

2010-09-29T22:24:00.000-07:00

So last month, Bryan Lee O'Malley pretty much said if his fans wanted more Scott Pilgrim we'd have to fanfic it. While most would consider such a statement was that all the story that needed to be told was told. Andrew Cook, however, figured the internet would take this as a challenge. As usual, he was correct.

Not only are we featuring Scott Pilgrim fan fiction:

Scott Pilgrim vs Hollywood by TrixieStixs
THe Exstreamly Epic Life of Scot Pilgram by Jam OnToast X3

We introduce the next generation of fanfiction with two interactive stories from Scott Pilgrim vs the Internet. Interactive, because you can even get in on the action.

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Intro:The CBC.

Music:

Quartet for Strings No. 19 in C "Dissonant" - Mozart
Sonata for Violin, cello and Piano - Chopin
Jeux d'eau by Ravel
In der Natur - Dvořák
Romanian Rhapsody No.1 in A major - Enescu

Scott Pilgrim Fan Fiction?

2010-09-11T13:45:00.001-07:00

Bryan Lee O Malley- “Vol 6 is the last Scott Pilgrim book. You’ll just have to fanfic the “rest” …was that not clear?”

You all know what you must do. Come on internet, don’t let me down.

P.I.T. 26: Quivering - On Dark Wings and Dark Nights, Book 2

2010-09-06T17:09:00.001-07:00

The sequel to one of our most downloaded episodes in this podcast is here.

In"On Dark Wings and Dark Knights: Book 2" some time has passed since Damien Nathaniel Wren had Batman muck about in a crossover. Here we see the aftermath of The Dark Night's visit.

While this episode steps away from our usual format, we'll be back to reading fan fiction set to classical music soon.

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P.I.T. XXV: The Final Countdown - The Most Ominous Threat: Osama bin Laden, part 2

2010-07-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

The epic tale, "The Most Ominous Threat: Osama bin Laden" by Moonlight Bomber, continues.

This is part two of our thrill-seeking journey, complete with turn-based action. Those of you with weak hearts should take your medication, this part is even more packed with crossovers than the last.

Yes it's possible

If that wasn't enough, the last two minutes may change your life.

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Intro: Final Fantasy I+II commercial.
Music: "Symphony No.9", by Antonín Dvořák
and "Wedding Day at Troldhaugen", by Grieg

P.I.T. XXIV: It’s All Part of my Final Fantasy - The Most Ominous Threat: Osama bin Laden

2010-07-09T23:32:00.000-07:00

Venturing forth into July comes a tale of action, patriotism, heroics, romance, and fantasy. Andrew Cook reads his first Final Fantasy fan fiction, on this program, “The Most Ominous Threat: Osama bin Laden” by Moonlight Bomber.

Join us for part one of our thrill-seeking journey of epic proportions, all in turn-based action, as heroes come into our world to face off against Osama bin Laden.

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Intro: Final Fantasy VII commercial.
Music: “Symphony No. 9″ and “Symphony No. 5″ by Shostakovich

P.I.T. 23: The LOST Episode

2010-06-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

Recovering from last episode, Andrew Cook reads three stories inspired by the hit television series LOST,
Tonight's stories are:

Buttock, by Cafechan
Deja Vu, by Blackwolf-20
and a crossover fic calledLost on the Island, by cheri1

At one point, he explains round one of the World Cup while trying not to cause an international incident.

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com

Tonight's musical selections:

"Sonata for violin and piano in G major" by Ravel
"Quintet in Eb Major Op. 67 #3" by Danzi
"Hammersmith" by Holst
"Variations on a Rococo Theme Op.33" by Tchaikovsky

Episode 22 : Lorem Ipsum - My Immortal Part II

2010-05-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

Tonight we continue "My Immortal" by Tara Gilesbie. This is the second half, chapters 22-44. It is said that this dark tale gives Cthulhu the heebie-jeebies.

Did Andrew Cooke survive it's epic conclusion?

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Intro: Hot Topic Commercial from 1993

Music:

Symphony No. 1 'The Gothic', fourth, fifth, and sixth movements by Havergal Brian

Sonata No. 2 in B-flat minor, Op. 35, 3rd movement by Chopin

My Immortal Program Guide

2010-05-28T10:18:00.001-07:00

Confused about “My Immortal”? The people at Cracked.com produced this handy guide for you to figure out the plot.

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Episode 21 - Darker than the Center of a Black Hole

2010-05-01T19:56:00.001-07:00

Tonight’s episode is a reading of “My Immortal” by Tara Gilesbie. This is a gothic tale of macabre and self-insertion, like an 50 megaton F-bomb exploded in a Hot Topic the size of Texas. Andrew Cook struggles to hold on to his sanity, and barely pulls through. Don’t fret, this is only the first half, chapters 1-22.

Did you know you can get this podcast on iTunes? It’s true!
Andrew Cook gives you instructions to follow right at the beginning of the episode.

Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com
Intro: ABC Sunday Night Movie

Music: Symphony No. 1 ‘The Gothic’, first, second and third movements by Havergal Brian

Episode 20: Live from Megacon 2010

2010-04-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

This past Megacon, we recorded a special live episode of one of my favorite Fan-fictions ever, "Quentin Tarantino's Ranma 1/2" by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne. Andrew Cooke doesn't take on this epic alone he has the help of the Pretentious Players, a group of actors banded together from remote galaxies.

Special thanks to: Jared, Les, Stacy, Mr. Slippery, and everyone who joined in.

While the old email still works, I made one easier to remember.
Send your emails to thepitpodcast@gmail.com

P.I.T. 19: It’s Full of Stars

2010-03-09T00:07:00.000-08:00

On the verge of our live episode, Andrew Cook gives us a quartet of classics.
Pretentious Internet Theatre will be at Megacon, Sunday March the 14th. You can not only find out what will be read, but how to be part of the action.

Tonight's stories are:
Robotech vs. Star Wars: The Day the Universe Stood still by SonGokuSSJ
Star Trek: Conundrum by Reginald Hansen
Starlight Knight by Sakura Lisel
and the legendaryA Trekkie's Tale by Paula Smith

Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Intro: The Spirit of Massachusetts
Music:

Symphony No.41 by Mozart
Adagio from Spartacus by Khachaturian
Brandenburg Concerto No.6 in B flat 3rd mvt by Bach
Op. 97a, Suite from The Gadfly VIII. Romance by Shostakovich
Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Strauss

P.S. If you found us through Gundamn! thanks for visiting.

P.I.T. Episode 18 and Life to Go

2010-02-09T02:57:00.000-08:00

This special holiday episode a trio of short stories, wait multiple holidays again?

Also, all roads lead to Megacon.

Tonight's stories are:

Wufei's Chinese New Year by princesspriscillamaxwell

MacGyver by Crina

and Valentine's Day Surprise by Krissey-da-Cougar

Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Intro: Japanese Gundam Commercial

Music:

High Mountain, Flowing Water

Serenade for strings in e minor, Op.20 by Edward Elgar

Romance for Violin and Orchestra No.1 in G Major by Beethoven

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - Clarinet Concerto in A Major

P.S. If you found us through Gundamn! thanks for visiting.

Episode 17: My Little Monkee

2010-01-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

In the first episode of 2010, Andrew Cook reads a piece which features a My Little Pony/Monkees crossover. It's called Endless Winter, and is either written by the enigmatic Erin or her little pony Medley. Come visit us at Megacon 2010, and be part of the elite.

Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Intro: Showtime After Hours

Music:

Symphony No. 1 by Tchaikovsky
Spring Song by Mendelssohn

Interview with His Lordship

2009-12-31T04:16:00.000-08:00

We close out the year, not the decade as only plebeians think the decade is ending, with the author that helped close out ‘Series 1″. Originally, we were supposed to end on a cliffhanger. Yet, we pressed on through. Someday we’ll look back, forget all this and laugh, and laugh…oh boy.

1. Your fanfic was certainly a great way to end season one. What was your inspiration when writing it?

A while back, another fanfic writer (though I cannot recall exactly who) once wondered aloud if it were possible for me to write a terrible story. Not terrible as in “ooh, that was a scary one, folks!” but more of a “this makes Twilight look like a work of art” terrible.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call tempting fate. After laughing off the comment, I suddenly wondered if I could in fact deliberately write something utterly atrocious. I took as many of the laughable plot devices as I could harvest from SM fanfiction (ie, the mysterious new soldier, more reincarnated Silver Millennium characters) and tossed them in with as many tired cliches as possible. Then I sprinkled liberally with gross spelling and grammar errors (with just a hint of papika for flavour) and hit frappe. And voila! Instant badfic.

Incidentally, you have no idea how hard it is to deliberately misspell words when you have an instant-correct spellchecker working against you. Half the things I deliberately misspelled were immediately corrected, forcing me to go back and re-botch the word–an act that no doubt had my poor spellchecker recoiling in horror.

When I passed this experiment on to the Fic Bitch to read/gag at, she offered to post it on her message board to scare the other members. Amusingly, half the people on the Bitch Board guessed the author of the fic was not only a troll, but me. I don’t know if I should be flattered or frightened that my writing style remains that noticeable even when it sucks.

Which reminds me: I still need to write the sequel, OMGWTFBBQ-2: Electric Boogaloo. There’s an outline for it around my desk somewhere, filled with all the same Cockroach Clustery goodness (now with 25% more lark’s vomit!). If memory serves, this time around I’d be tossing in Sailor Terra, Usagi running away to the U.S., a CSI cameo and Tuxedo Travis using Jedi mind tricks.

2. You blur the line between Sailor Moon’s Japanese and American shows. Is this a commonality in fanfiction you come across?

When I first joined the fandom, absolutely. Then again, at the time most of us had been sucked into Anime by the DiC dub and knew little about the Japanese version (let alone all the surgical changes that had been performed in bringing it to English). Many fans wrote stories based on the dub, though I found that the longer a writer stayed in the Sailormoon fandom, the more their stories began aligning with the original Japanese version.
Nowadays, the fandom is a lot older so there are more stories and resources to work with if you want to base your story in the original Japanese version. Plus the advent of the Intarwebs & YouTube lets anyone who wants to see the original Japanese episodes watch them from start to finish. It is still possible to find fans writing from the DiC version, but they tend to be few and far between…or else you’ve just stumbled across their archives stories from long, long ago.

Mind you, it’s not uncommon to encounter a writer who’s merging the North American and Japanese versions into some strange little hybrid. They’ll pick & choose which parts of which version they like more, kind of like a salad bar. One could call this heresy of a sort, but you will also encounter some authors who’ve taken aspects of the Sailormoon anime and manga, and merged them together for the sake of their story. I’m guilty of that myself.

3. What are your roles with the FicBitch site and have you actually run across people trying to make the list on purpose?

I’d like to say I’m a muse and source of inspiration for the Fic Bitch, but in the end I’m probably just the guy standing on the corner holding up a sign that says, “The End of Evangelion is Nigh!” But in my defense, it’s a very pretty sign: I added glitter to it.

As for people deliberately attempting to make the list…so far I haven’t really encountered anyone doing it seriously. For comedic purposes like me, yes, but never in an attempt to garner an infamous name for themselves. Then again I haven’t been actively looking and I do rather fear what might happen to me should I encounter such a person. The odds favour me screaming like a girl and running to the furthest possible corner of the Net as I can find.

4. Can you tell me any projects you’ve been working on?

The last year has seen life come tapping my favourite shoulder in a rather ominous fashion whilst holding aloft a very large sledgehammer. As a result, any amount of writing I’ve done as of late has been abysmal at best, but I am holding out hope for 2010.

There are a number of original fiction projects on the go, short stories and novels alike, as well as an attempt at writing a Senshi/General romance for my wife…who’s insisted there had better be no Jedi mind tricks, running away to the U.S. or spelling errors in my story, or I’m doomed.

5. Finally, it’s been a while, will the FicBitch site be updated with new stories anytime soon?

It was once said that an infinite number of monkeys working on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually hammer out the entire works of Shakespeare. Well, eventually isn’t good enough for us. We’ve commandeered an infinite number of evil flying monkeys (plus 1, for good measure) and given them Velociraptors. Now so long as these Velociraptors don’t eat the monkeys or the typewriters first, that will make these the most bad-ass monkey-writers this planet has ever seen. And they shall be tasked with updating the Fic Bitch site.

Soon, the entire page will be presented in glorious 3-D Imax, resplendent with the most cutting edge Dolby sound. A simple click of the mouse on any link or icon will be the equivalent of experiencing orgasmic rays of sunshine in yyour stomach. Terrible fics gilded with scathing banter will come at you relentlessly like a horde of misspelled zombies.

You will be like Marty McFly standing in front of that wall-sized amp, guitar pick in hand, and you will contemplate whether to flee like so many cowards gone before you, or to show the universe that your balls are made of pure adamantium. The FicBitch website will be your woofer, turned all the way up to an 11. And the instant you dare to embrace your destiny and click on a page, it will explode in a fiery array of sparks and pure unbridled awesome as it sends your mind careening across the room. And you will love it, no matter how deaf you are or how badly your ears are bleeding.

[Disclaimer: this entire answer is a complete lie.]

Visit the Fic Bitch for yourself, and see what lies ahead http://ficbitch.wishing-blue.net/

Episode 16 - The Holiday P.I.T.

2009-12-29T14:31:00.000-08:00

The Holiday Special!

Andrew Cook is too elite to just save one holiday.

We save Hanukkah with A Hanukkah Carol by Gothica13

We save Kwanzaa with Lion King 3: The Enchanted Kwanzaa by Thylacine 2000

Finally we all learn the true meaning of Christmas with The Night before Christmas by Epyon Zero

Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Intro: Fighting the Frizzies

Music:

Violin Concerto in E Minor by Mendelssohn
Greensleeves by King Henry VIII
Blue Danube by Johann Strauss II
9º by José Maurício Nunes Garcia
Canon in D Major by Pachelbel

Episode 15 - Darkly Dawns the Dance with the Devil

2009-11-22T01:55:00.000-08:00

In this episode, Andrew Cook reads Chapters 4-5 of On Dark Wings and Dark Nights by Damien Nathaniel Wren.

What is The Joker's master plan?

In these action packed chapters, we answer a few a questions and leave many more.

Next episode will be the Holiday themed episode, send in your contributions and find out of it gets on the show. Be creative, we're not just limiting this to Christmas.

Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Intro : Batman 1977, the Japanese opening
Music:

-Powerhouse by Raymond Scott
-The Nutcracker suite, Op.71aby Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
-Walkürenritt by Richard Wagner
-Largo al factotum by Gioachino Rossini

Best Podcast

2009-11-18T21:11:00.000-08:00

Pretentious Internet Theatre is in the running for Best Podcast, only because Most Elite isn't a category.

Please help and vote and thanks for listening.
Episode 15 coming sooner than later.

Episode 14 - Rory's First Kiss Gets Dangerous

2009-11-17T17:50:00.000-08:00

In this episode, Andrew Cook reads Chapters 1-3 of On Dark Wings and Dark Nights by Damien Nathaniel Wren. Amazing in how it has never been attempted, at the moment of this posting, it is the only Batman crossover of its kind hosted on fanfiction.net.
Enjoy.
Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Intro: Theme to "The God of Gamblers"
Music:
Johann Strauss II - Die Fledermaus Overture, Blue Danube
Gioachino Rossini - The Barber Of Seville
Franz Liszt - Hungerian Rhapsody #2, #10
Bedrich Smetana - Dance of the Comedians
Tchaikovsky - The Nutcracker
Raymond Scott - Powerhouse

P.I.T the 13th - The Halloween Episode

2009-10-18T22:46:00.000-07:00

In this special Halloween episode of Pretentious Internet Theatre, Andrew Cook finds 4 spooky stories found throughout the internet to presents them to you.
Thrill to the bone chilling "If I Was a Monster" by Plastic Dolly.
Scream at Haunted House by Q. Static.
Beware Deadpool and the Great Big Mystery Maniac by DigimontamerB
Get scared out of your wits by Xanders Terribly Bad Halloween by FallenDruid

It's LaVelle by the way

Intro : Creature Double Feature
Music:
Komm, Gott Schöpfer, Heiliger Geist by Bach
Requiem 8th Movement: Lacrimosa by Mozart
'Danse Macabre' by Camille Saint-Saëns
Prelude in C-Sharp Minor, Op.3, No.2 by Sergei Rachmaninoff
Music for Strings, Percussion and Celesta IV by Bela Bartok
The Firebird, Kastchei's Dance by Stravinsky
Prelude And Fugue 5 In F Minor by Mendelssohn
Mazurka by Tchaikovsky
Sonata 53 In E Minor Third Movement by Haydn
Nocturnes Op.27 in C# major by Chopin
Romantic Pieces For Violin And Piano Opus 75 1st Movement by Dvorak

Episode 12: Willow the Wisp

2009-10-04T16:48:00.000-07:00

On the cusp of the Halloween type episode, Episode 12 features a Willow-centric Buffy the Vampire Slayer story called Show Me The Money hosted on the Livejournal of Ryna_fic. Wait a second! What's this? Magog...We have a crossover with the WWE folks! This is the greatest night of fanfiction in the history of our sport. Connections never thought possible come to light, in more ways than one.

Intro: WWF 1985 Bumper
Music:
Divertimento in D Major KV 136 1st & 2nd Movement by Mozart
Serenade Opus 127 Third Movement by Giuliani
Flute Concerto 2 (3rd movement) by Mozart
Sonata For Flute And Piano W86 Third Movement by Bach
Sonata In A Minor Opus 105 First Movement by Schumann
Pelléas et Mélisande by Faure
Sinfonia Concertante For Violin, Cello And Strings In D Major First Movement by Pleyel
Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Episode 11: The End of the Beginning

2009-09-26T03:02:00.000-07:00

Intro: Fuji 8 Japan Ident.
In this episode, Andrew Cook had recorded the installments 4 - 6 of American Kitsune by David Gonterman. Then the rest of the story gets dropped, due to content not featured on this program.

Andrew Cook then reads OMGWTFBBQ to end Series 1. Special thanks to Fic Bitch for hosting this story, and providing material for some future episodes.

Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Enjoy

Episode 10: Enter the Daveykins

2009-09-26T02:41:00.000-07:00

Originally Aired: September 4, 2009
Intro: cold intro to HBO 1983
The beginning of the end is the end of the beginning.

In this episode, Andrew Cook read the first three installments of American Kitsune by David Gonterman. As always you can read along when you click on the title of the story. David Gonterman has long since left the fan-fiction game but still writes fiction and original comics at FoxFire Studios.

Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Enjoy.

Episode 9 - Live from Mini-Megacon

2009-09-26T02:36:00.000-07:00

Originally Aired: August 25, 2009
Intro: WBGH Boston
Recorded live on Sunday, August 23, 2009 Andrew Cook steps out of the recording studio. He not only does his show before a live audience, but invites the elite in the room to take part. Tonight's focus is on Hans Von Hozel, an author from Germany, who wanted to learn English by way of writing fan fiction. It the time of this recording, he had done 218 stories featured on Fanfiction.net.

Andrew Cook also announces the story he'll be reading for the multi-part series finale.

Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Episode 8: First King of Hawaiʻi ATTACK!

2009-09-26T02:21:00.000-07:00

Original Air Date: August 10, 2009
Intro: CBS Special
This is a story like no other, at least no other Andrew Cook has read.

Written by Gofer-chan. Until the End of Time is the DBZ crossover, no one ever saw coming.
Send your emails to pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Episode 7 - and all that Jazz

2009-09-26T02:14:00.000-07:00

Original Air Date: August 10, 2009
Intro: Intro: Bad Starscream Russian translation
This episode is chapters 4&5 of “Morning Tea” by Lola Hard

I did a little overtime on this one.
Keep those emails coming at pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com .

Also, if you wish to read more stories by Lola Hard some of them can be found here.

Episode 6: More Than Meets The Eye

2009-09-26T02:09:00.000-07:00

Originally Broadcast: July 31, 2009
Intro: WLVI 56 Ident

The story this episode is the first three chapters of "Morning Tea" by Lola Hard
Bad news: This episode originally was going to have the entire story.
Good news: That means episode 7 is not so far away.
Good thing too because August is going to be busy. Andrew Cook makes a big announcement during the outro and P.I.T. will never be the same again.

Remember to email pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com with your suggestions and comments.
Also, if you wish to read more stories by Lola Hard some of them can be found here.

Interview with The Weird Girl from Down the Road

2009-09-26T02:06:00.000-07:00

1. I didn't get an initial response from you. How did you feel about your story being featured on this program?

I was sorta excited sorta embarassed, excited because you thought my story was good enough for your podcast, embarassed because I don't know I was.

2. Do you often write under the influence of sleep deprivation?

No the only reason I was really tired was because it was the last two days of spring break and I was trying to get on a normal sleeping routine, by staying up all night and day and going to bed at like seven.

3. I'm a bit confused as to why Spongebob turned evil in chapter 7. From my perspective, he was nothing but friendly to Edward and Bella. In return, for this hospitality, they murder his friend and rip him to shreds.
Defend them, could you?

Well the reason Bella killed Sandy was because Sandy was Bellas singer and Bella was just turned into a vampire, a year ago, in my story so she's very unexperienced compared to Edward and his family, so it sorta makes sense why Bella killed Sandy, not because of Spongebob but because she had no control. As for ripping up Spongebob, Edward did that so he couldn't expose vampires to the world, also he paniced and didn't know what to do, and acted on inscint.(I'm a bad speller)

4. Do you have a literary inspiration, or favorite author? How do they inspire you in you writing?

Not really, I was just really bored and found fanfiction, and started writing stories.

5. How many pets do you have? I notice a lot of them popping up in your author's notes.

Well I have about, eight, two cats, two gueina pigs, one dog, three ferrets, but the one I was talking about in my story died recently and is one ofthe reasons I haven't continued my story.

6. What projects are you currently working on?

I was working on three stories but I have currently took a break from writing.

Episode 5: Vampires Are Alive

2009-09-26T01:58:00.000-07:00

Originally Broadcast June 22, 2009
Intro: ITC Ident
So far, the crossovers we've featured have been in the same genra. The mold is broken with a Twilight Spongebob Squarepants crossover that's still in progress. It's called Bella And Edward go to Bikini bottom

The fourth wall may never be the same again. Email

Episode 4: Wagon Train in Space

2009-09-26T01:55:00.000-07:00

Originally Broadcast: May 18, 2009
Intro:Channel 4 Ident
A special episode dedicated to Star Trek. I'm happy cause I don't have to yell at the top of my lungs.

Two stories from you here: Quantam Trek by DragonWriter and Shadows in the MiST by Sandra Guzdek.

Email:pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Interview with AnimeFan 18.0

2009-09-26T01:48:00.000-07:00

Interview with AnimeFan 18.0

Sep 15th, 2009 by pretentiousinternettheatre Edit |

I always make it a habit to contact the authors I read stories from, or try to anyway. If you remember I did read a direct response from him in Episode 2. Here is the author that provided “Vegeta vs Pikachu” and made up the first three episodes, AnimeFan 18.0.
“1. In the opening to Chapter 1 of Vegeta vs Pikachu, you mentioned this idea had been forming for sometime. How did you come up with this?”
Whew boy…man was that a long time ago! Let’s see… I believe I was on a website called DBZsc.com and discovered a little flash game where you fired Ki-blasts at a Pikachu (I think). After playing it, I thought something along the lines of “Hmm…I wonder what would happen if Vegeta had to fight Pikachu from Pokemon?” So I thought about it and eventually an idea for a one-shot came to me. I wrote it, posted it, saw that people liked it, and decided to continue the story. Thus, a fanfic was born.
“2 You also mention a muse that bit you, can you share a little about this muse?”
He’s a little turd, that muse is! One minute, I’m inspired to write an epic, the next I’m so disgusted with the idea I don’t want to think about it. He’s basically the personification of my whimsy-ness, and loves to toy with me when it comes to throwing ideas around in my head. -grumbleblastedmusegrumble-
“3. Do you have a literary inspiration, or favorite author? How do they inspire you in you writing?”
Ironically, I don’t read as much now as I did when I was a kid. My favorite authors from then were Eoin Colfer, Lemony Snicket, and (to an extent) JK Rowling. Now-a-days, I spend most of my reading time reading stories online or fanfiction. I need to get back in the habit of reading stories written by profesional writers; my dad’s already sugested half-a-dozen books for me to read.
Also, I can’t say that they inspired me much when I wrote Vegeta VS Pikachu, but nowaday I’m heavily inpired to try and bring my own writing to the same level (or better) as those authors I listed and the authors of other stories I’ve read.
“4. One of the obstacles with portraying Pikachu is communication. How did you come about sounding out his speech patterns before translation?”

Simple: I didn’t. I wrote the translated piece first, then added in before it a speech pattern based on what I heard from the little guy on the show. There actually was an episode were Pikachu and other Pokemon talked to each other, and it was translated at the bottom, so I guess you can say that episode influenced the way I chose to translate Pikachu’s speech.
“5. Is it a coincidence I also notice he’s the only character that cusses? Vegeta’s potty mouth seems to be a running gag throughout the story.”
No-Vegeta is so famous for his temper, I thought it would be funny to have him throw a curse word or two. So yes, that was an intentional gag.
“6. What projects are you currently working on?”
In all honesty…I have no bloody clue. The helpful hinderance that is my muse has thrown several ideas into my head, but refuses to help me expand and/or focus on one particular idea. I am, however, thinking about an idea for a video game series called Ratchet and Clank. It revolves around an origional character I’ve created and takes place before the events of the actual games. I’m also thinking about a DBZ-Kingdom Hearts crossover, but my little sister wants to learn how to write fanfiction, so I may let her do that one. Other than that…not sure. :\ Right now, my attention is mainly concentrated on origional works/ideas, so it may be awhile before I write any more fanfiction. Or I might post something two days from now! You never really know with me… XD

Episode 3 : Search for Kirk/Spock

2009-09-26T01:34:00.000-07:00

Originally aired April 27th, 2009.
Intro: WBZ 4 Ident 1988
It’s the last 2 chapters of Vegeta vs Pikachu. In this episode we actually get our first example of beeped language for content, albeit from Pikachu. Also, Andrew Cooke mentions the one of the big criteria for requested content.
Email: pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com .

Episode 2 - Electric Pikachu

2009-09-26T01:11:00.000-07:00

Originally broadcast March 29, 2009.
Intro: Thames Ident
We continue the story of Vegeta vs Pikachu, with comments from Animefan 18.0 This one promises to be my second episode yet.

Email: pretentiousinternettheatre@gmail.com

Episode 1 - It All Started With a Mouse.

2009-09-15T10:19:00.000-07:00

Here's where it all started.

It’s debut episode brings you a reading of Vegeta vs Pikachu by Animefan18.0

Powered by Podbean.com

Intro: PBS Ident 1971

Originally broadcast on February 22,2009.

Pretentious Internet Theatre

P.I.T - The S.O.P.A. Approved Episode.

P.I.T. 47: Don't Mess With Gabe - Ocean Marketing Saga

P.I.T. 46: Autumn Adieu - Selling Your Soul to Santa

Episode 45: Mai, Mai, Mai - A Nondenominational Mai Hime Holiday Special

P.I.T. 44: Why Are There So Many Fanfics About Vampires - Chez Melissa

P.I.T. 43 - and in the Darkness Bind Them - WalMart Blues

P.I.T. 42: Trick or Tweet - Halloween Stories

P.I.T 41 - Good Night Emo - Nights of Terrors Even Though it's Day Time

Episode 40: Some Call it Dap - Adventure Time Fanfics

Episode 39: No Crisis Here - Sesame Street Super Special

P.I.T 38 - The Fall of P.I.T. - The Death of David Kintobar

P.I.T 37- A Fragment Out of Time

Episode 36: And Justice for All

Episode 35: Live from AFO 12

Episode 34 : You Are Already Listening

P.I.T. Tea Party Episodes 2+3

P.I.T. Tea Party - Episode 1

P.I.T. 33: Live from Megacon 2011

P.I.T. 32: Computer Lab Apocolypse

P.I.T. 31 - Metal Rabbit : Chinese New Year Stories (自命不凡 互联网 剧院)

P.I.T. 29: The Christmas Episode, Part 1, A Teen Titans Christmas

P.I.T. Episode 28 : Tricks and Treats

P.I.T. Video Log Episode I: Spirited Beasts

P.I.T #27: Scott Pilgrim vs The Fanfiction

Scott Pilgrim Fan Fiction?

P.I.T. 26: Quivering - On Dark Wings and Dark Nights, Book 2

P.I.T. XXV: The Final Countdown - The Most Ominous Threat: Osama bin Laden, part 2

P.I.T. XXIV: It’s All Part of my Final Fantasy - The Most Ominous Threat: Osama bin Laden

P.I.T. 23: The LOST Episode

Episode 22 : Lorem Ipsum - My Immortal Part II

My Immortal Program Guide

Confused about “My Immortal”? The people at Cracked.com produced this handy guide for you to figure out the plot.

Episode 21 - Darker than the Center of a Black Hole

Episode 20: Live from Megacon 2010

P.I.T. 19: It’s Full of Stars

P.I.T. Episode 18 and Life to Go

Episode 17: My Little Monkee

Interview with His Lordship

Episode 16 - The Holiday P.I.T.

Episode 15 - Darkly Dawns the Dance with the Devil

Best Podcast

Episode 14 - Rory's First Kiss Gets Dangerous

P.I.T the 13th - The Halloween Episode

Episode 12: Willow the Wisp

Episode 11: The End of the Beginning

Episode 10: Enter the Daveykins

Episode 9 - Live from Mini-Megacon

Episode 8: First King of Hawaiʻi ATTACK!

Episode 7 - and all that Jazz

Episode 6: More Than Meets The Eye

Interview with The Weird Girl from Down the Road

Episode 5: Vampires Are Alive

Episode 4: Wagon Train in Space

Interview with AnimeFan 18.0

Episode 3 : Search for Kirk/Spock

Episode 2 - Electric Pikachu

Episode 1 - It All Started With a Mouse.

P.I.T. 31 - Metal Rabbit : Chinese New Year Stories (自命不凡互联网剧院)